I looks at him, and he looks at me
It is one of the signs of increasing age that one finds modern phrases or sayings annoying – ways of talking that were not around when one was young, but are now in common usage. Of course, it is when one starts talking to the television and telling characters in dramas and news commentators how to speak that one knows that old fogy-ism has really set in with a vengeance.
‘We are going to spend some quality time together.’ There is one that sets my teeth on edge. Time itself has neither good nor bad quality. It is a neutral space, which can be filled with anything. It is the way that it is used which gives it its quality. If someone is burgling a house, the time is not bad, the burglar is. If someone is helping to raise money for a charity, it is the action which is good, not the time spent in the activity. Time is neutral – we make it good or bad.
In the New Testament account (Matthew 14.22-33), Jesus goes up into the mountains to pray. He has just fed the crowds, he has been in the thick of it, and he is tired out and needs some respite. It is such a great comfort to know that Jesus needed space in his life, space to pray, space to be alone, space to re-affirm his contact with his Father. He needed time – he needed time away for the crowds, time to be with God. It leads us to understand our own needs to give time to prayer. It makes us realise that getting frazzled by life, getting up-tight, getting exhausted or fed up or out of sorts is not some deep fault in ourselves. It is simply what happens. The fault is to neglect to find time, to give time, to that contact with God which is available to all. The fault is to neglect to give time to prayer.
St Paul wrote that none of us know how to pray as we ought (Romans 8:26)– also a very comforting passage in the Bible, because don’t we just know how true that is. Some prayer time seems productive, some seems remarkably sterile. We cannot guarantee to have quality time when we pray, because the time itself is neutral, and our experience of prayer varies. What we can do is give time, sacrifice time, set time aside. Going in to prayer time with the expectation that we will get a lot out of it – that we will have a quality experience – is a great mistake. All we have to do in prayer is give the time. Of course, there are different ways of praying; intercession, praise, thanksgiving, and the rest; but that is a different matter. There is no type of praying that does not require the sacrifice of time, even if only for a moment in the middle of a busy day.
The Curé d’Ars (Jean Vianney, 8 May 1786 – 4 August 1859) told a story about prayer. He used to go into his church and find a peasant sitting there looking at the crucifix on the altar. He used to think to himself that the man was sitting there because he did not know what to do, and did not know how to pray – what could such a poor, ignorant man know about prayer? So he went to the man to speak to him, and to offer him help in his prayer life. He went up to him and asked what he was doing. “I’m sitting here,” he said, and he indicated towards the figure of Christ, “and I looks at him and he looks at me.” That is a perfect description of contemplative prayer. And the Curé d’Ars realised that he had nothing to teach the man. The man, above all, was giving time to prayer, and giving his whole attention in the time that he sat there. There was nothing for the Curé to add.
Text © Jonathan Smith Shoreham-by-Sea Julian Meeting
Photo St Jean Vianney (the Cure of Ares) by George Desvallieres from Wikipedia, Wikimedia Commons
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I have been reminded recently about Joyce Huggett. She gave many talks and wrote books such as ‘Listening to God’ and ‘Formed by the Desert’. How did she contribute to your life? Her family are inviting those who knew her to contribute to a memorial service in June.
Philip – Blog editor.
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