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Exploring the Spiritual Labyrinth Experience

Saturday 4 August 7.30pm. The cathedral nave is clear of chairs, the lighting is subdued. Two dozen of us gather in a circle in the north transept. At the centre of our chairs is a bunch of carnations, and a ball of twine with its free end curling in a spiral away from the flowers. A flautist quietly plays variations on Taize chants.

Judith, the Cathedral chaplain, welcomes us and explains the history of labyrinths and mazes as spiritual aids. Following the path occupies your mind, while walking occupies your body, and your spirit is free to be with God. For some there is great significance in working towards the centre – of yourself, of God, of… – and then working outwards again back to your everyday world.

The labyrinth we are to walk is laid out in the centre of the nave. It is a 36-feet diameter canvas on which is a copy of the labyrinth at Chartres Cathedral. Because it is on canvas we are asked to remove our shoes before we enter it. While Judith is explaining to us, a verger is walking the labyrinth, censing it as he goes.

We are each given a flower, to be a symbol of whatever we choose and to do with as we choose. Judith explains that we are free to use all the cathedral, the cloisters, the cloister garden and the crypt as we choose, and to join in with others as much or as little as we wish. She then picks up the end of the twine and sets off slowly out of the transept and down the north aisle. Each of us in turn picks up and holds on to the twine so that eventually we are spread out along it like beads on a string. It gives me an unusual experience of connectedness.

Judith leads us down to the back of the nave, across to the west doors and then up the centre of the cathedral towards the labyrinth. In the subdued lighting the labyrinth looks very mystical, surrounded as it is with nightlight candles and wreathed in the smoke of incense.

There is a limit to how many people can physically walk the maze at any one time, and I am a long way down the line, so I leave the string and walk quietly out to the cloisters and the garden. In the evening light the stones glow, while the pool at the centre is darkly reflective.

When I return to the nave I remove both my shoes and my socks. It seems right to walk the labyrinth barefoot. It is a tightly interlocking pattern. At first I head towards the centre, and then the path turns away from it, and continues on a complicated twisting route. I need to concentrate, or I wobble or nearly miss the path. I try looking up and out across the labyrinth, but this confuses my eyes as there are so many lines. So, unless I am very near the edge of the maze, I keep my gaze within quite close limits. I am short­sighted: I wonder how it feels to someone with long sight?

As I walk I keep passing some people regularly, others I never encounter, and yet more are near at intervals and then at a distance. I often have to turn sideways, or dip aside so that someone on an adjacent path and I can pass without knocking each other off our route. One lady is dancing her way around the labyrinth, swaying along to the music she can obviously hear in her head.

It takes a surprisingly long time to reach the centre – it is quite a long walk. Most people seem to stop there for a while, sitting or standing in the small space to pray, or reflect. I feel quite claustrophobic at the centre of the labyrinth, perhaps because of the number of people in a small space.

I would like to walk it alone, or with one or two others only, to see how different an experience it might be.

Some people have placed their flowers round the edge of the labyrinth. Many leave them at the centre, but mine is still in my hand as I start on my return walk. I have realised what it signifies for me, and therefore where I wish to leave it. There are fewer people on the labyrinth as I walk back. At times I go quite a distance without meeting anyone, and I am aware of the pattern stretching away from me, and then the shadowy spaces of the cathedral beyond. I feel a sense of relief when I reach the end, almost as though I am escaping…

Perhaps I am escaping to something. Still barefoot, I walk across the cold stone floor, and up the steps into part of the cathedral that is unlit. But I know where I am going, and there is enough light shining through the arches and tracery to find my way. I take my flower and place it quietly, gently, in my chosen place, and open my heart to God, and make a promise. This is why I came. This is why I am here.

After a while I return to the nave and reclaim my shoes and socks. I walk towards the west door and sit in one of the stone seats built into the west wall. The building is transformed by the dim light, the wafts of incense: the lack of chairs or furnishing. A lady is dancing quietly, caught up in the atmosphere of this magical, mystical space. One person is walking the labyrinth alone, moving within the circle of lights and flowers.

We all move towards the maze, and gather round it. We can just reach to hold hands and encircle it. There is chance for people to speak, to pray, to share. Then we bless each other in the words of the Grace, eyes meeting eyes across the maze, the candle flames flickering on our hands, on our faces. We know we have been blessed indeed.


©Deidre Morris August 2001 magazine

Image generated with AI

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Poems by Angelus Silesius OFM,  1624 – 1677

Red Rose with raindrops by K Marsh

These are two lovely, contemplative poems by Angelus Silesius, a 17th century Franciscan whose theology has similarities with that of Meister Eckhart, the 14th century Dominican mystic who said:  ‘God is God and has no why. God has no why but yet he is the why of everything.’

The rose:

The rose is without why, it blooms because it blooms. It does not pay attention to itself, asks not whether it is seen.

The heart:

Thy heart receives thy God and all that with Him goes when it expands towards Him as does an opening rose.

K Marsh    

Text & Photo ©K Marsh

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Becoming

Although we often see life as a series of beginnings and endings; life and death, the seasons of the year, night and day, we are really in a constant state of becoming. The apostle Paul says that we were ‘chosen before the creation of the world’ Ephesians 1:4. The Psalmist says ‘You (God) created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb’ Psalm 139:13. Our ‘seeding’ and ‘flowering’ is an intrinsic and ongoing part of God’s eternal outpouring of love. All that is required of us is an ‘awakening’ to and an acceptance of the presence of God not just in creation but in us individually and corporately.  

In contemplative practice we come to stillness and silence and, in the words of Thomas Keating, “Recognise the presence and action of God and consent to it. We do not have to go anywhere; God is already with us… Faith tells us that we already have God – the divine indwelling”.  From: The daily reader for contemplative living by Thomas Keating. 

And so, as we stand at the ‘end’ of 2024 and the ‘beginning’ of 2025 we are simply in the eternal present moment and the eternal presence of God. And in our surrender to and growing awareness of His will we are each in a state of becoming the unique manifestation of His presence according to His eternal plan. 

Closing prayer: 

Lord we thank you for the gifts of life and love and fellowship; with you, each other and with all creation. And as we reflect on our lives we thank you for your grace at work in and amongst us and we echo the prayer of Dag Hammarskjold.  ‘For all that has been, thanks. And for all that is to come, Yes’………Amen 

Text ©K Marsh 29 December 2024. Bexhill JM 

Photo©K Marsh.  White quartzite stone cross, Lake District. 

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The Language of Prayer

An opening meditation and closing prayer used at the Bexhill Julian Meeting.

The language of prayer, as with all forms of communication, is deeper than just words; it is layered with meaning. It is the language of love, of the heart. When I speak to someone who is dear to me it’s not necessarily what they are saying that I love, it’s that I love the fact that they want to say it to me. In a loving relationship there are underlying depths, of joy, love, a harmony of heart and mind. 

When we come to God with all our neediness, hopes and aspirations there is a resonance beyond dialogue. When we surrender into stillness and silence it is as if God would say ‘I’m so glad you are here’ and we would respond ‘I’m so glad I am here’. 

Such love is contingent on nothing, we are fully known and yet fully loved not just with, but for all our imperfections because they drive us to God. Such a love reaches beyond actions or words, it is much more an affair of the heart which longs to know and be known. 

Over time there is a sense in which we become the prayer, the lived understanding that we are accepted as we are which frees us to accept others as they are. This communion is how we come to know oneness both with God and with all of creation. With continued practice the awareness of this wordless communion remains with us beyond our times of quiet reflection and we can draw on the inner peace throughout our day. It becomes to us, an endless resource in times of both joy and tribulation. 

Closing prayer: 

May rivers of peace, harmony, security, equality and freedom flow to all humanity. May your sacred light dispel all spiritual darkness and ignorance. And may harmony between spirit, mind and body found by the one, extend to the many. Water the seeds of peace among nations, and spiritual awakening to the people of the world.  Amen 

JM  Meditation  20 August 2024. Text and Photo © K Marsh ( Bexhill meeting) Photo of statue at Herstmonceux Castle close to the Village of Herstmonceux in East Sussex

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My Dream

When I was a boy of about seven, I had a recurring dream which, at the time, was quite perplexing. It is difficult to describe, the words do not do it justice, but I seemed to be floating, and I remember there being some kind of ‘wire’. It was the sensations which were most odd; there seemed to be a sensation of ‘tingling’ and weightlessness. A sense of ‘being ‘ without any volition or thought. All that there seemed to be was an awareness of space without beginning or end. I could recall it in my awakened state but, over time, the dream faded.

Later in life, in my mid thirties to forties, I went through a phase of writing poetry. It was a period of my life when I found this form a way of exorcising powerful emotions both positive and negative, a way to release physical, emotional and spiritual, joy and trauma.  I remembered the dream and believed it to be a memory of being in the womb, the ‘wire’ being the umbilical cord. My description of it at that time was ‘The place of pins and needles’; because of the remembered tingling sensation. As with so many experiences and ideas, ‘life’ seems to overtake and bury some of one’s deepest sensitivities.

I now find myself reconnected to the dream. Often when I sit to meditate the memory surfaces and I have come to believe that what I was experiencing was my earliest contemplative experience. I simply knew myself ‘to be’, in the most primal way. This state required no conscious knowing or understanding, no words or description.

Now, as I think of it, there are significant parallels with being a manifestation of the divine essence. It makes sense of the way in which I feel ‘held’, almost a feeling of being cocooned, safe, at one with both ‘God’ and the universe. This seems to be the underlying feeling of peace which Jesus described as ‘beyond understanding’:    a sort of divine umbilical cord, the sustaining source of my being, my life. All this whilst experiencing and witnessing the best and worst of human endeavour, including my own.

Just as, in the womb, I was fully alive but yet to experience consciousness and self, whilst the universe was  unfolding about me, So now I find myself able to access this sacred encapsulation, this inner sanctum which, in which God, in the words of James Finley, ‘protects us from nothing and yet sustains us through everything’.

What I draw from this is that nothing was required from me, either at the moment of conception or during the gestation period. Everything required, not just to sustain me but to set up every conceivable possibility for the unfolding of my life in the world, was there from the beginning. I, and the divine source of my being, are one. And, this oneness is as true today as it was then.

That stage of being which all of us experienced in the womb, whether remembered or not, I believe has parallels in our relationship with who and how we conceive God to be. To meditate on, or contemplate the fact that all we ever need is, and always has been provided, by our source, for our being, to bring us to our destination. We, in essence, float in the endless abundance of the Divine life which is the source of all that we will ever need, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Just as in the womb everything required was supplied to us, no conscious request, no words, hopes or desires were necessary, so in this moment we can rest in being; certain that all we need  for the fulfilment of our life’s unfolding is constantly ours. Such is the power of letting go into stillness and silence. The silence is, as it were, the womb, the perfect encapsulation of our being. As we originally emerged from the womb to become who we are, so we emerge from the silence restored and renewed; in order to manifest the one Divine life: to live the silence, to carry the stillness and bring the Divine essence into the world and those around us.

Text and Photo © K. Marsh Bexhill Julian Meeting

Photo taken at Scotney Castle UK. A National Trust property just off the A21, it is listed as in Tunbridge Wells but is close to the border of East Sussex.

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I Am That I Am

Is-ness’s recognition by Am-ness is expressed in the Ocean and Wave.  

Existence self-reflected by Awareness; Presence self-recognised by Knowing.  

The Ocean is I; Am, the Wave; simply a modulation of One.  

From which, in which and to which One shall return to One.  

Never two, even in multiplicity.  

The spirit of any expression beholds both rest and movement; at its depths is stillness yet as this, the source of all activity.  

Thus each utterance of phenomena is a sonorous tolling invitation to recognise its reality.  

The wave was, is, shall ever and only be the Ocean.  

There is not no self, there is simply no separate self; there is only Self-self, I-i; Ocean-wave.  

Ocean, Wave, Current; in trinitarian coexistence. 

Text and Photo ©️Jamie Robson https://jamierobson.com

Inspired by Exodus 3:14

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What May Befall

A somewhat dark reflection but our hope for all is for a peaceful, joyful and blessed year.

The following is a possible lead-in for a Julian Meeting taken from ‘Moon in Scorpio’, by Robert Neill. A novel set in 1679, when Catholics and Protestants were at odds with each other and rebellion against Charles II was a real threat.  The words are spoken by a Catholic priest – liable to be hung, drawn and quartered if he were caught by the authorities – to a fellow citizen. His words seem to speak also to our times and situations, and where God may be in them 

What may befall you I do not know, and you may find what the world calls harm.  These are very dark and troubled days, and the things of earth are none of them secure.  There is rancour, and greed, and fear, and much else that is from hell.  In the seats of power there are men of evil heart, and daily men die who seemingly should not.  Which does not mean that a man should turn his back, and seek for himself alone.  Happiness is not found that way, and what is found is empty.  You may thank God that a path is open before you, even though you like it not.  For it is better to be called than not to be called. You will not, in the end of things, be the less happy for having done what was set before you.  That is the Law.  It is to be heeded or not heeded, as men do choose.  But it is not to be balked or changed.   

From a JM member.

Photo John Doyle, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

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The God Within – Something Personal 

In discussion with an Anglican friend earlier in the year, I suggested that the liturgy of the Church of England, even the modern versions, contains very little of the God within. It tends to look to God above, to God looking down, to gratitude, confession and petition. Prayer is surely about nurturing a relationship.  

 
Teresa of Avila, however, has much to say about the God within: “Settle yourself in solitude and you will come upon God in yourself”. And, as a child, I remember being impressed by a saying of Mahatma Gandhi: “I believe God is closer to me than fingernails to the flesh”. Admittedly, being of the Quaker persuasion, I stand towards the edge of the Christian tradition and I look towards waiting in silence, to experiencing moments of transcendence, however simple and fleeting, to assist me in my way through life. 

 
Earlier this year our family spent a week in the hills in mid-Wales. We stayed in an old farmhouse where the view from the yard provided a sublime vision of quiet: meadow, trees, blue mountains, a few silent sheep and, blessedly blue sky. Occasional flights of goldfinches feasting on the purple thistle heads only contributed to the peace. Early each morning I would sit and marvel at the quality of the silence. One morning, indeed, I felt “caught up” in a moment of timelessness. It has come into my mind often since and I have remembered a beginning of a poem by R. S. Thomas which fits completely: 

 
And God said: How do you know? 

And I went out into the fields 

At morning and it was true. 

 
Such intimations are of inestimable value in helping us to navigate a world which contains so much destruction, suffering and inequality. It is all too easy to feel overwhelmed by news, to feel that one’s own puny efforts at supporting others, ‘saving the planet,’ are so miniscule as to be useless. For most of us we might say with T.S.Eliot: 

 
there is only the unattended 

Moment, the moment in and out of time, 

The distraction fit, lost in a shaft of sunlight 

The wild thyme unseen, or the winter lightning 

Or the waterfall, or music heard so deeply 

That it is not heard at all, but you are the music 

While the music lasts. These are only hints and guesses, 

Hints followed by guesses; and the rest 

Is prayer, observance, discipline, thought and action. 

The hint half guessed, the gift half understood, is Incarnation. 

Janet Robinson (JM member) 

[Poem by R.S. Thomas is Amen. Quote from T.S.Eliot from Four Quartets ] 

Photo Tondi Johnston, CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0, via Wikimedia Commons https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Pregnancy_Week_22_by_Tondi_Johnston.jpg

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In the Wilderness

 The three Abrahamic faiths all have wilderness as a fundamental experience of their faith: Abraham’s wanderings; Israelites 40 years in the desert; John the Baptist; Jesus.   

Why is the desert significant?  What characteristics make it important? 

Empty; silent; barren.   

A place of struggle and survival.   

Finding a sense of self in relation to God and to creation. 

When Haggar fled she went to the wilderness and God found her by a spring he asked her: 

Who are you? Where are you going? 

We all need the God of the desert to find us.  

The desert can offer us three gifts: 

Learning to see 

Empty space 

Solitariness and meeting 

Moses could not fail to see the burning bush because, in the wilderness, such a thing cannot be hidden. Deserts are places where pretence is no longer possible, only the truth suffices.   

Deserts are places to learn new truths about yourself. 

From a JM member who wishes to remain anonymous

Picture Ivan Kramskoi, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

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The God-Shaped Hole

It is a well-known phrase, and the experience that we lack something without the presence of God is central to Christian life (and the life of many other faiths).  In the Christian tradition it is, perhaps, most famously expressed in St Augustin’s Confessions, where almost the first statement in his autobiographical account of his faith is about a yearning for God:

You made us for yourself, and our heart is restless, until it rests in you…Since I exist, why do I seek that you should enter into me, since I am not, unless you are in me?

Yet this puzzlement in his first chapter about where to find God and who God is, is also a profound expression of our own puzzlement.  How does one fill a God-shaped hole if one cannot find the thing that will fill it?

The language, of course, gives the game away.  One is not looking for a ‘thing’, but for ‘no-thing’; in Augustine’s view, for ‘that without which I would not exist.’  The realisation that we are not looking for a ‘thing’ to complete us, not looking for something to ‘put in’ the God-shaped hole is expressed by Blaise Pascal in his Pensées, which is the source of the phrase.  The phrase is a misquote; ‘hole’ is better translated as ‘abyss’, or ‘void’, and in his discussion of a search for true happiness, Pascal goes through a list of all those things that will not make the void disappear, ranging from the stars to cabbages.  He writes:

What is it that this desire for happiness and this inability to acquire it proclaim to us, other than that there was once in man a true happiness of which there now remains to him only the mark and empty trace, which he in vain tries to fill from all his surroundings, seeking from things absent the help he does not obtain in things present? But these are all inadequate, because the infinite abyss can only be filled by an infinite and immutable object, that is to say, only by God Himself.

Pascal’s use of the word ‘object’ to describe God, is, of course misleading, but language is always strained to the limit in referring to that without which nothing would exist, without which the world and everything we know would disappear like a bursting soap bubble.  Fortunately, the belief that God is eternal – indeed beyond eternity – means that this is something we do not have to worry about.  Grammatically, though, God is never the object, he is always the subject, without whom nothing happens and no sentence that makes any sense is possible.

We are left, however, with the unknowability.  Maybe the most difficult thing to acknowledge in a life of faith is that the void or hole, the abyss, to some extent remains, and resting there, both in activity and inactivity, waiting for God’s presence is the work we are called to.  It sounds bleak, but it is not so in experience.  It is a faithful waiting for God, who does come, at his initiative and not ours, to show us that we do not exist separately from him.

text © Jonathan Smith Shoreham-by-Sea Julian Meeting

image Pablo Carlos Budassi, CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0, via Wikimedia Commons